阿米尔·列文(Amir Levine)是哥伦比亚大学的精神病学家和神经科学家,也是《依恋》(Attached)一书的合著者。研习社会关系的列文解释说,每个人都有一个他所谓的依恋层级体系,意思是说,如果遇到不好的事情,我们向人求助时会有一个次序。年少的时候,位次最高的通常是我们的双亲或其他家人。
“The problem as you grow older is, how do you let somebody close who’s basically a total stranger?” he said. “Nature came up with a trick: It’s called attraction. Sexual attraction brings down all the barriers, lets you get close to a new person in a physical way that you don’t get close to your family.”
“问题是,随着年纪渐长,你如何让某个人靠近一个基本上完全陌生的人?”他说。“大自然想出了一个妙招:那就是吸引。性吸引会打破所有障碍,让你从生理上亲近一个新人——你并不会以那种方式亲近自己的家人。”
Over time, of course, this physical connection wanes. While many bemoan this loss of titillation, Levine celebrates it. “It’s smart,” he said. “If you’re going to be crazy about the other person all the time, how are you going to raise kids? How are you going to be able to work?”
当然了,假以时日,这种生理的联结会褪色。很多人惋惜于欢愉的消退,列文却表示赞许。“这很明智,”他说。“如果一直为另一个人疯狂下去,你怎么抚养孩子?又怎么能好好工作?”
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