The second P is pervasiveness—the belief that an event will affect all areas of your life. You know that song “Everything is awesome?” This is the flip: “Everything is awful.” There’s no place to run or hide from the all-consuming sadness.
第二条不要过分解读,就是不要笃定坏事一定会影响生活中每个角落。有一首歌叫《一切都是极好的》,反过来就是《一切都是可怕的》。人们常常会以为悲伤大过天,根本无处可逃。
The child psychologists I spoke to encouraged me to get my kids back to their routine as soon as possible. So ten days after Dave died, they went back to school and I went back to work. I remember sitting in my first Facebook meeting in a deep, deep haze. All I could think was, “What is everyone talking about and how could this possibly matter?” But then I got drawn into the discussion and for a second—a brief split second—I forgot about death.
我跟儿童心理学家聊了之后,他让我尽快恢复孩子们的日常习惯。戴夫去世十天后,他们回到学校,我则回到工作岗位。我记得回去上班后头一次开会,精神都是恍惚的。我心里想的都是,“他们都在说什么,这些小事有什么好说的?”但后来我加入讨论,说着说着突然有那么一瞬,我好像忘记了死亡的悲痛。
That brief second helped me see that there were other things in my life that were not awful. My children and I were healthy. My friends and family were so loving and they carried us—quite literally at times.
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