那短暂的一瞬让我明白,生活中还有一些事没那么糟糕。毕竟,我跟孩子们都很健康,亲朋好友都那么关心支持我们,那段时间真的多亏他们撑着我才没垮。
The loss of a partner often has severe negative financial consequences, especially for women. So many single mothers—and fathers—struggle to make ends meet or have jobs that don’t allow them the time they need to care for their children. I had financial security, the ability to take the time off I needed, and a job that I did not just believe in, but where it’s actually OK to spend all day on Facebook. Gradually, my children started sleeping through the night, crying less, playing more.
失去伴侣往往会伴随巨大的经济打击,女性更是如此。许多单身母亲和父亲都在非常努力工作,没什么时间照看孩子。跟他们比我不用担心经济
The third P is permanence—the belief that the sorrow will last forever. For months, no matter what I did, it felt like the crushing grief would always be there.
第三条是不要以为伤痛永远不褪,就是相信痛苦会一直继续。戴夫去世后有几个月,无论我做什么都能感觉到令人窒息的悲伤,而且从来没有减轻的迹象。
We often project our current feelings out indefinitely—and experience what I think of as the second derivative of those feelings. We feel anxious—and then we feel anxious that we’re anxious. We feel sad—and then we feel sad that we’re sad. Instead, we should accept our feelings—but recognize that they will not last forever. My rabbi told me that time would heal but for now I should “lean in to the suck.” It was good advice, but not really what I meant by “lean in.”
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